EVEN LIGHTER FUEL

 

Lighter verse

I had a lighter called a Bic:
You flicked a wheel, it had no wick.

I also had one named a Cricket
Don't you think it's like the Bic, eh?

More solid was the metal Zippo,
Comparatively like a hippo.

I never had a smart Colibri
For using only in my library.

But they run out—that's where the catch is.
So now I have a box of matches.

 

 

Dinosaur shopping

Did you ever see a dinosaur walking through your town?
Did you see one go to M&S to buy a dressing gown?
Or maybe in the checkout queue at Tesco's with a trolley
Piled up with pizzas, crisps and jam, potatoes and a cauli?
I don't suppose you ever did. The dinosaur's no fool.
They don’t like crowds of noisy kids; they shop while you're at school.

 

 

Six poems before breakfast

I rise
I pee
I wash
I shave
I dress
I write this down.

 

 

The telephone
A rondelet for Elisha Gray

        The telephone
Idea is seriously flawed.
        The telephone
Rings when you want to be alone,
Insistent, not to be ignored.
I'll answer it but won't applaud
        The telephone.

 

 

Warning signs

This door is alarmed,
These windows take fright.
They don't think the ceiling
Should stay up all night.

 

 

Multiple choices

Don't put all your eggs in one ...
a hen, b basket, c omelette.

Every dog has his ...
a nose, b basket, c day.

It's a wise child that knows its own ...
a toys, b nose, c father.

The child is father to the ...
a nose, b dog, c man.

Like father, like ...
a nearer, b mother, c son.

Manners maketh ...
a mother, b man, c strange bedfellows.

Many are called but few are ...
a available, b answering, c chosen.